Leaving my first company...

Its been two years since I joined and yesterday was my last day. Honestly, Ive enjoyed my stay there, no matter the frustrations and the worry of future. And so, it was difficult for me to accept the fact that it was my last day yesterday. And now at 3.30 in the morning, I realize I'm no more an employee....
I wont be going to office from Monday..wont be checking mails on outlook(never knew I loved it so much) ...wont be meeting my friends(I'm gonna miss you'll bad)...no more meetings...no more a cubicle...no more work...no more a company which takes care of me....Its sad and I'm on the verge of tears.
I'm looking forward for the one opportunity to officially visit my company to submit the PF form. But I fear the strong nostalgia that's gonna strike me, now that I realize I'm gonna miss my company.
On my last day, that's yesterday, there were no signs of these emotions...I was perfectly fine till the last minute. I left the company laughing about the fact that on my last day..I went to office by first shuttle and returned by the last. Though deep down I knew something was really hurting.I spent my last day..having some more fun.


Yesterday was a perfectly normal day except for the fact that I was not late for the first shuttle :) . I reached on time..boarded the shuttle ..knowing it being my last day..was observing each and everything so I have the picture refreshed in my mind. I grabbed at the leaves of the tree that barge into our bus when the shuttle leaves the Godrej office; it was something I had wished to do since long(Ya i know..silly me). Reached office and was doing the packing up of my stuff though a little was left because I had already done most of it. Still no realization...

My friends came to office in their usual time and we went for breakfast...surprisingly and fortunately we were not discussing about it being my last day. Instead we were in deep conversation about some interview questions we had come across. Was fun. I wish we had discussed such stuff more often earlier. One lesson learned on the last day. Soon after breakfast I typed the goodbye mail..which I must have edited a hundred times to make it sound original but in the end it was a product of Ctrl C and V's. But I sent it nevertheless and then my manager came inviting me for the lunch treat my team had planned. It was a touching and a little embarrassing. I was actually expecting a cake cutting ceremony and a little smiles but instead we all were to go out...it was really a heart warming gesture...I was quiet most of the time....as I most often avoid limelight and today it was unavoidable...The food was good at Jazz by the bay and I think by far this was the best buffet Ive had ..probably because it was my last corporate lunch(before getting back to studies) or may be coz it was a treat...
Anyways, we all had a sumptuous meal with some usual talks ..talks of the past...talks of my future...they asked me to send pics(which I shall) ..and other random stuff....was fun!
The lunch ended with giftNCard-giving and a small request for a speech but my awkwardness was well conveyed beforehand by my face and I was excused..yet I did mumble something like "Thank-you all...I'm humbled....blah blah(rest was ultrasound)".
Being overwhelmed by what they had done for me...so after returning I quickly sent a thank-you mail...this time not once did I do a Ctrl V(except for an image of course)...its so easy to write with feelings pouring out ..:) And then my friends from college working in the same place came to meet...we had a discussion about our other classmates...their whereabouts...blah blah..felt nice.

I completed all the exit formalities and was ready for...I don't know what...Anyways, had my last snacks at office with my first-day-buddy-at-office who has become used to accompanying people leaving our team till the last moment :) . We were talking about career and future so it was a lighter conversation when I noticed the hill in front of our canteen....Myself and another friend had decided long back to climb it but the plan had never materialized. I decided today was it..now or never. So we quickly planned and left to complete the last pending action item (gonna miss this word as well)!. We three...myself, buddy and my friend were on the hill in no time...took some pics as a proof ;) ...and back. I still hadn't realize what I'm gonna miss...Said a few more byes and boarded the shuttle...

Back home I showed off the card and the gift and watched TV and never had left my mind idle during any part the day. And I think while I slept..all the feelings memories and triggers got rearranged and now I'm here...feeling what I should have felt 24 hours back....nostalgic...and painfully drawn to the past.So here I am typing a blog as I'm overwhelmed.

I know I have a lot of things on my plate to do and that I have some exciting days to look forward to, but I'm still gonna miss my first company and all the people who had or are associated with it and me.I still cant cry but I might eventually and that's probably when I'm going to be completely unloaded.

Till then...I'm gonna keep typing ;)

An afterthought : One thing I noticed about my post...While I was an employee...I used to use colleague and friend interchangeably....and today I dint find the need to maintain the distance and call my friends my colleagues...:)